Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
When we've experienced past trauma,
Anger can feel really scary and forbidden to feel and express.
Most often,
Trauma survivors either express it too aggressively,
Too quietly,
Or they go through a cycle where they hold it all in and then they explode so that they're switching off between staying quiet and then exploding until they can't hold it in anymore.
If you relate to feeling or expressing your anger in an unhealthy way and you would like to be able to be more assertive and firm and direct without being too aggressive or staying too quiet,
Then we're going to explore in this meditation what you need to do differently in order to feel good about the way you express your anger.
You can begin this meditation in any position that feels good for you right now,
Either lying down,
Sitting down,
Or standing up.
Once you find a comfortable position for you,
We're going to take three deep breaths together,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One last time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
You can close your eyes or lower your gaze,
And I'm going to invite you now to imagine,
Visualize,
Or sense into what anger feels like for you in your body.
See what the first sensation or image comes up when you tune into the emotion of anger.
You might feel something in a certain place in your body,
Or you might see something in your mind's eye,
Like a ball of light or an imaginary picture or visual of whatever anger feels like for you.
Whatever comes up for you,
Don't question it,
Just hold on to it.
And as you're seeing or feeling into what anger is like for you in your body,
I'm going to invite you to start bringing movement into your body in a natural and organic way.
So how does your body want to respond as you feel the sensation or see this image of anger?
How do you want to move with this anger?
For example,
If you felt a constriction in your hands,
You may feel a natural urge to tighten your hands even more and then maybe loosen it up.
If you saw a heated red ball of energy,
You might have the natural instinct to move it between your hands and almost pass it between your hands like a ball.
There's no right or wrong.
Just allow your body to lead you here.
Your mind will likely want to take charge and tell you what to do and how to move in order to push away,
Push down,
Or fix this anger.
But instead of doing that here today,
I'm challenging you,
I'm encouraging you to move with your anger,
To have a dance with your anger.
How do you want to move with your anger right now?
Let your body lead you.
You might be doing the same movements over and over again,
Or your movements might be naturally developing,
Changing into other movements that look different to the ones you started with.
Again,
There is no right or wrong.
The most important part is that you're allowing your body to lead you and move with,
Be with the anger that you felt through sensation,
Through image,
Or both.
As you are here letting your body lead you,
Letting your body choose how you want to be with and move with your anger,
Notice how different this is than impulsively reacting to the fear of anger,
To the fear of feeling it and the fear of expressing it.
Because when you're scared of anger and you automatically react by exploding or pushing it down,
It's so out of your control.
It's so scary.
But as you're here moving with your anger,
Consciously choosing the way you want to move with it,
You can have a sense that actually you're in command of the way you want to respond.
You are choosing the way that you want to feel and express your anger right now.
And while you're in command,
You can try on some different ways of expressing anger that feels healthier to you.
So if you were to close your eyes again,
Lower your gaze,
And imagine a version of you,
Visualize a version of you that expresses anger in an empowered,
Regulated,
Yet effective way,
What would that look like?
What movements are you doing?
How are you moving your body?
How are you holding yourself in your body?
Start trying that on.
Maybe if you're used to staying really small and hiding,
You start seeing that you actually take up more space,
Which you can try on right now in your body,
Making bigger movements,
But movements that are not all over the place and chaotic,
But perhaps more moving directly in front of you or moving out in space in a more controlled manner.
If you're used to exploding and you take up so much space that your partner can't even hear you or respond,
Then you might try to do movements that are more connected to yourself,
That are closer to your body,
That are smaller,
So that you're still feeling yourself,
You're still connected to yourself in this anger,
But it doesn't threaten the entire space between you and your relationships.
You can practice in this moment making more impact with stronger movements,
So what would it feel like to put more weight into your feet?
Almost like you're stomping,
But not stomping,
Just making some sound as your feet hit the floor,
Not in an overpowering way and not in a way that is so light we can't even hear you.
You can try this impact by clapping your hands together or tapping on an object in your space because we want to be impactful when we express anger and the only way to be impactful when we express anger is if it's a healthy expression of anger.
It's not overpowering and it's not completely underwhelming either.
These are just a few ideas of what you can try on,
But you may be completely in your own flow right now trying on different ways of expressing anger that looks different and feels different but feels right for you.
Whatever you're doing right now,
However you're moving,
Start slowly,
Gradually bringing your movements to a close,
Making your movements incrementally slower and smaller without rushing and really giving yourself the space to transition from movement to more stillness.
You can allow your body to naturally find a position that feels good to you right now.
Maybe that means your arms are down by your side and you're standing up really tall or you have a go-to safety pose like hands on your heart.
There's no right or wrong.
Just let your body lead you into a pose and once you get there,
Let's take a deep breath together.
Gently open your eyes,
Look around your physical space,
Make physical contact with your body as if you're saying,
We are here,
Right here,
Right now.
And see what meaning you can make from this experience,
Whether you were able to feel empowered in your body without overpowering or you were able to take up space in a more controlled way without being controlled by your feelings.
Take a moment to reflect.
What are the ways in which you just moved that felt like a much healthier expression of anger to you?
The answer could be as simple as slowing down,
Slowing down my responses,
Being more gentle,
Keeping the way that you are firm and direct but with a touch and quality of gentleness.
Maybe you allowed yourself to take up more space without being all over the place.
As you notice what made your expression of anger feel healthier,
You can bring some of that into your day to day.
So you can practice taking up more space in a different way or slowing down or incorporating more gentleness into your responses.
And if you're not sure what to make of your experience,
You can come join my Insight Timer Circle called Women Healing Trauma and share your insights.
I can help you make more sense and meaning of it so that you can apply it to your day to day life and relationships.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to be heard,
Seen and loved.
