Get More Freedom In Your Life With One Tiny Word

Your days are full, with too many things to do. It's overwhelming, you might even be headed towards burnout. But there is a way to break the cycle. It starts with a simple two letter word. Can you guess what it is?

Transcript

Hi there,

I'm Jo Hatcher.

I want to talk to you about how to get more freedom with just one tiny little word.

So,

Your days are full with too many things that you probably don't want to do.

It's overwhelming and you know at the end of the day there's still going to be a long list for tomorrow.

And then you start over the next day,

Just like a rat on a treadmill.

I get this because I've done this.

But what if I told you there's a way to have more time in your day just for you?

And it involves using just a tiny two letter word,

No.

You see,

I've spent a lifetime getting to know this word and the art of using it.

When you're raised with the idea that it's not nice to say no or that people won't like you if you do say no,

Well,

You have a steep learning curve.

I learned the hard way.

I said yes to everyone and everything.

And there were times when I felt resentful and frustrated in not getting everything done.

I was in the world of being over scheduled and burned out.

And it's just not fun.

When you're spinning in a circle of too much and too many things you say yes to,

It's a very big problem.

It took a while,

But I realized that when I say yes to things I don't really love,

I'm saying no to myself.

And if you're in that vortex of too much,

I want you to really get the high cost of not saying no to others.

I remember when my kids were in junior high and I was working full time in an intense children's clinic plus starting my private practice,

I could hardly keep up with all the roles.

I was insane with too much to do.

And quite frankly,

Out of control.

I was seeing new clients in private practice on Saturdays and Sundays because I thought this would increase my private practice if I had just that much availability.

And it didn't take a genius to figure out that it wasn't sustainable for long.

I was always tired and I hardly had any time for my family.

So I started saying no to working on weekends.

New clients would ask me if I could see them on Saturdays.

And I would say in my steadiest voice,

I don't see clients on the weekends.

I held my breath thinking they'll just say,

Okay,

Nevermind.

That won't work for me and go on to the next therapist.

But guess what happened?

The client would say,

Okay,

Well,

When are you available?

I'd offer them the times that were best for me and my family and voila,

Every time they would say,

Okay,

I'll take that time.

Not only did I learn the lesson of setting up policies for myself ahead of time,

Like no weekends,

But also that when you're certain about your policy,

People don't mess with you.

They just say,

Okay.

So here's the scoop.

The things that do happen when you say no,

You get more time for yourself.

When you say no,

Especially the things that you don't want to do,

You create more space for what delights and feeds you.

And we all know how good that feels.

Let's face it.

We can do everything.

There's only so many hours in the day.

When we say no,

We're saying yes to ourselves and yes to freedom for more happiness.

For me,

This was a very hard pill to swallow because I wanted to do it all.

I wanted to do everything.

See clients,

Help people have fun with friends and spend quality time with my family.

I long for time for myself to journal,

To take dance classes,

To read a book,

Because those are the things that make me really happy.

But when I was saying yes to all these things that I thought I had to do,

Like doing things for my children that they could do for themselves,

For example,

Or when I was being asked to work longer hours,

There was little time left over from me.

And at some point I realized I was snapping at everyone,

Feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

I was even jumping up to load a load of clothes in the washing machine while playing a board game with my sons and my husband.

They would get so frustrated with me.

I was like a machine that couldn't be turned off.

So another thing that you get when you start saying no is that you have more energy.

Rather than giving your energy to something you don't really love,

Think of how much more energy you would have for you,

Your family and your friends.

And what about that thing that you love to do that you never get to do,

Unscheduled time to just enjoy your life,

Going for a walk,

Spending more time with your kids,

Your grandkids,

The people that you love.

Now we're talking more energy for you.

When I do the things that bring me joy,

Like riding my bike,

Working in my garden,

Standing on my head in some exotic place,

I'm a happy,

Happy girl.

I feel energized,

On fire,

Creative.

The ideas just roll in.

It's like a magic elixir when I choose to do the things that I love.

And this pretty much involves saying no to something else and to others.

The other thing that you get when you say no is that there's more freedom to just be you.

Freedom can come to us when we listen to our gut and just say no.

That tiny little word has such impact on our lives,

Our minds and our wellbeing.

If we're always saying yes to the things that don't please us,

We can feel trapped,

Obligated and helpless and we become resentful.

And then no one wants to be around us.

This can feel like being in prison,

Like we're victims.

When we have more time,

Time feels expansive and we get to actually explore what we want now and what our life is telling us.

So who wouldn't want these things in their lives?

But wait,

Joe,

How do we begin to say no?

You might be thinking,

No worries.

I've got three tips just to start you off.

This is something,

These are three things you can start doing right now.

Take your time.

Don't feel like you have to give an answer right away if someone asks you to do something.

Give yourself time to think of a response rather than an automatic yes that comes out of your mouth before you know it.

Try saying,

Let me get back to you and then spend some time with yourself to see if you really want to do it.

Number two,

Have a policy and stick to it.

If you have a policy for yourself,

You don't even have to think about it.

Decide on your bottom line.

So some examples might be,

I don't work on Fridays or I only give this much money to,

Or if I'm stressed,

I take my time to say yes to whatever opportunities I'm presented with or things I'm asked to do.

Three,

Ask yourself these questions before you say yes.

If I say yes,

Is it going to drain me or give me energy?

Will saying yes give me enough time to do what I want to do?

And last,

Will I have enough time to complete other commitments or projects if I say yes?

So now over to you.

If you want more time for yourself,

More freedom and more pizzazz in your life,

You have to be able to say no.

And you can start saying yes to what you do want and no to what you don't.

You can start that today.

Part of your wellbeing is being able to focus on yourself so you can be your best for others,

Whether it be your family,

Friends,

Work colleagues,

Patients,

Customers.

We don't do anyone any favors if we're burned out,

Resentful and not happy.

In life,

We don't know what's around the corner,

Especially now with the global pandemic and we are faced with the unknown and uncertainty every single day.

Don't waste this precious time.

Learn to say no.

And if you want to know more about how to say no to start living more freely with more time and energy to do the things you love,

Then just leave me a comment here that will be just for my eyes only.

I really want to know what you think.

And I'll send you the link to download your free resource.

Reviews

Rang true and was a very helpful reminder. Thank you for sharing your experience! ❤️🙏❤️

Very true, thank you for this excellent reminder. Love and blessings 💖 x

Thank you. Great advice.