Hello,
I'm glad you're here.
This practice is meant to help you digest the difficult emotion of anger.
Together we will build what's called metta,
Or loving kindness technique.
Traditionally,
The method begins by sending well wishes first to ourselves,
Then a friend,
Then a familiar stranger,
And lastly to an enemy.
Adding the layer of extending loving kindness to a difficult person takes maturity and can often be painful.
Be gentle with yourself.
Please proceed with care and compassion.
Before we meditate,
Let's talk about aversion.
Aversion is another word for dislike,
Anger,
Or hatred.
It is considered a hindrance to love and the far enemy of metta.
Aversion manifests in two ways,
Bubbling out as anger or boiling in as grief and fear.
Like a storm,
Anger rises when the conditions are right.
And although we cannot control its rising,
We can control how we relate to it.
There are positive aspects to anger.
Anger sets boundaries.
Anger challenges injustice.
Anger cuts through superficial niceties and politeness,
Pierces the obvious,
And reveals the hidden,
The forgotten.
But Buddhist psychology considers anger to be like a forest fire,
Characteristically savage.
In other words,
Anger burns up its own support until there's nothing left.
So we must learn to understand the difference between feeling anger and venting anger.
Can you allow yourself to feel anger without letting it rage until it burns you up as well in the process?
Now make yourself comfortable.
Sit down.
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Hush now.
Allow yourself to be as you are.
Messy,
Complicated,
Confused,
And broken.
Do not abandon any part of yourself.
Seeing all of you,
Even the parts you call ugly.
Notice your body.
Feel for the warmth of irritation,
The heat of agitation.
Where does it burn in your body?
Instead of shy away,
Lean in.
Breathe right there where you feel most hot.
And allow yourself to form.
Are you angry at?
Angry at yourself?
A family member?
A friend?
An enemy?
Maybe the better question is,
What am I angry at?
Perhaps what we are really angry at is the anger we are receiving.
We're angry at the anger itself.
Flame,
Fighting flame.
That's it.
Feel your anger.
Sit with it.
Let your anger be a part of you without taking over you.
Give yourself metta,
Loving kindness.
May I be safe.
May I be happy in body and mind.
May I know peace.
Yes,
Shower yourself with these phrases of metta like a cooling rain of loving kindness.
And share this love,
This kindness with a friend.
Someone in your life who you respect,
Who you're grateful for.
May you be safe.
May you be happy in body and mind.
May you know peace.
Extend this love,
This kindness even further.
Bring to mind an acquaintance.
Someone who you have neutral feelings for.
Send them well wishes.
May you be safe.
May you be happy in body and mind.
May you know peace.
Now bring to mind someone you consider difficult.
Someone who you have a strong emotion for,
Of dislike.
If this is challenging for you,
You might imagine your enemy in a vulnerable position.
Picturing them as a baby or injured,
You can use your imagination to help soften your heart.
The Buddha said,
Hatred can never be ceased by hatred.
Hatred can only be ceased by love.
This is an eternal law.
So we must learn to forgive.
Not to free your enemy,
But to free yourself.
Because who is the one who really gets hurt from your hate?
You.
Share metta with your enemy.
May you be safe.
May you be happy in body and mind.
May you know peace.
And yes,
You're right.
It is much more difficult to forgive than not to forgive.
Forgiveness is a type of dying.
As if you say,
I am not that person anymore,
And you are not that person anymore,
You kill the fire.
Forgiveness creates space for renewal.
A life free from bondage to the past.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Blink your eyes open.
May metta help cool the intensity of rage.
Namaste.
